There's nothing as constant as change....

As I sit on the couch at 11:59 p.m. on a Friday night, after finishing a one and a half hour blogstalking session, I've realized that change is rampant, and clinging to distant memories gets harder and harder (for me at least).

To give a little bit of background:  For some reason or another, I do not have a very good memory of my childhood.  I'm not sure why.  I can remember a few teachers, some main events, and generally what I did as a kid.  However, I have the sad news of saying I grew up   t o o   f a s t.  It seems like all of a sudden I was in high school.  Where did elementary school go?  What about two years in middle school?  Yes, yes, those were the awkward years of 7th and 8th grade.. but honestly, where are the memories?  (dig deep...come on... they're in there somewhere....)  Right when I could have used some help from my brother (who conveniently left on his mission) I entered high school.   Ah.. high school.  Being a T-bird at Timpview High School was definitely something that is impossible for me to forget.  Being a Freshman and being in awe of the upper-classmen who were so "cool" and "big".  I do remember sitting in the middle area of the commons during lunch because that was the "cool" thing to do.  The poor little freshmen didn't have cars, and therefore couldn't take advantage of the open-campus policy during lunch time.  Then sophomore year -- I turned 16 and headed home for lunch most days.  Good times.   My little green Saturn and I had some good days in high school.  Remember the days when you first got your drivers license?  I remember wanting to drive EVERYwhere.. I'd even ask my mom if I could run her errands for her or go to the grocery store to pick that little extra something up for the dinnertime meal.  Ah, those were the days.  And then, I'm not sure what happened my junior and senior year.  I had a full schedule of AP classes, upper-level math, and a full dose of extracurriculars to keep me busy after school (tennis, piano, clubs, etc).  WHOOOShhhh... done.

Now, so much has changed as far as relationships go.  It was so easy to know everyone in your graduating class by name.  Many of them were just considered "school" friends -- since you didn't really see them, let alone hang out with them, outside of school.  It wasn't because they weren't cool, it's just really hard to hang out with everyone.  But I do say that I had a small group of friends that were as tight as pickles in a pickle jar.  We did everything together and it was awesome.  We eventually got girlfriends and our close-knit group shattered rather suddenly and unexpectedly and against our will.   .. Lame.

Now, after two years in Texas on a mission, and 21 months being home, I have to continually face the fact that there's nothing as constant as change.  All of my high school friends have taken paths into other schools, careers, friends, etc.  As much as I'd like to somehow get back to the good ol' days, I find it an impossible task.  The only way for me to be involved in their lives at this point is to stalk them on facebook or read their blog if they keep one.  (side note: some of my friends are incredibly good writers and have a gift with blog-gab.) (another side note: I apologize to all of those who endure boring and prosaic writing such as mine.  I do hope that one day my other (and better) half will be in the upper echelon of the blogging world.  As for now, I am stuck doing this nonsensical blog which absolutely lacks vibrancy and color.)

Back to the topic.  The sad news is that my former friends have since up and left.  There is a small part of me that is a void and I feel it now more than ever as I see that many other groups of friends from high school have stayed together through thick and thin.  Perhaps I am meant to leave that part of my life behind, and create another space in my desktop of life for "best friends".

cheers to the past, present, and future friends in my life..